With Sign Ban, Skins Fans Turn to Fat People

November 4, Landover, MD-As Redskins fan have let the new sign ban sink in, many are thinking of new ways to get their message to the tv cameras and to Dan Snyder and have thought of a creative solution, the use of fat men with no shirts. Fat men have long been a tradition at football games in the history of the NFL and particularly in the Hog Pit in the stands at FedEX field, but this would be a unique point in the history of the league.

The plan, paint your message on to the body of a fat man and have him be in the park with no shirt on. "Genius," said longtime skins fan Albert Bream. "I have been dying to tell Snyder that I want to hang him by his underpants from the upper deck and that was suppose to be what my sign was for. Now I will just use my brother in law."

Nats Town Demoted to Nats Village

November 4, 2009, Washington, DC-Given the recent drop in attendance at Nationals Park and given the paltry fan base, the US Census Bureau announced today that Nats Town is no longer considered a town and will now be referred to as Nats Village.

"It is purely a numbers game," said US Census supervisor Ted Tree. "This is not a political decision. There are no other factors that go into this other then actual population." The US Census Bureau did not eliminate the possibility that Nats Village could again become Nats Town if a population boom were to occur.