DC SportsDaily

tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-949820202808535772011-07-07T20:02:02.025-07:00DC SportsDailyCompletely made up sports news about DC sports figures. Now with fake news updates daily, or at least weekdaily.Boss Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06045110377243058613noreply@blogger.comBlogger181100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-94982020280853577.post-88695560699876329352009-11-04T13:40:00.000-08:002009-11-04T13:44:22.445-08:00With Sign Ban, Skins Fans Turn to Fat People

November 4, Landover, MD-As Redskins fan have let the new sign ban sink in, many are thinking of new ways to get their message to the tv cameras and to Dan Snyder and have thought of a creative solution, the use of fat men with no shirts. Fat men have long been a tradition at football games in the history of the NFL and particularly in the Hog Pit in the stands at FedEX field, but this would be

Boss Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06045110377243058613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-94982020280853577.post-76579120412282034402009-11-04T13:36:00.000-08:002009-11-04T13:40:21.604-08:00Nats Town Demoted to Nats Village

November 4, 2009, Washington, DC-Given the recent drop in attendance at Nationals Park and given the paltry fan base, the US Census Bureau announced today that Nats Town is no longer considered a town and will now be referred to as Nats Village. "It is purely a numbers game," said US Census supervisor Ted Tree. "This is not a political decision. There are no other factors that go into this

Boss Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06045110377243058613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-94982020280853577.post-22395168939192856132009-07-08T11:15:00.000-07:002009-07-08T11:21:52.593-07:00Chris Cooley Toasts to Nine Months or so Since His Balls Were Last Publicly Seen

July 8-Wyoming-Washington Redskins Chris Cooley, fresh off his road trip to Wyoming or wherever it is he was going while filming every odd minute of the trip, recently celebrated at a bar by exclaiming a toast to "nine or ten months since my balls were on the internet." Cooley became famous for posting a picture of his playbook on his blog, forgetting that it should his coin purse in the camera

Boss Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06045110377243058613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-94982020280853577.post-61618630866477643822009-07-07T07:50:00.000-07:002009-07-07T07:58:11.184-07:00Josh Bard Will be Featured in Eastern Motors Commercial

July 7-Washington, DC-Eastern Motors has decided it will expand its arsenal of DC sports figures endorsing their cars by choosing their first National, catcher Josh Bard to do ads for them. Eastern Motors is famous for their commercials featuring DC area athletes, mostly Redskins, however, this past season they expanded to hockey with ads featuring Alex Ovechkin. "This is awesome man, to be the

Boss Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06045110377243058613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-94982020280853577.post-65094481665443139692009-07-06T18:06:00.000-07:002009-07-06T18:14:02.510-07:00Nick Johnson Briefly Detained for Dirty Things

July 6-Denver-Washington Nationals first baseman Nick Johnson was briefly detained by police in the Denver airport on his way to play the Colorado Rockies because police said he had a striking resemblance to a pedophile that was wanted. "The resemblance was uncanny," said Denver police Lieutenant Nigel Babcock. "We apologize to Mr. Johnson and got it correct pretty quickly but even he admitted

Boss Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06045110377243058613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-94982020280853577.post-14506934005096091992009-07-06T06:23:00.000-07:002009-07-06T06:43:42.399-07:00Austin Kearns Shocked He Is Not Going to All Star Game

July 6-Denver- During batting practice before the Washington Nationals series opener against the Colorado Rockies Austin Kearns revealed that he was shocked he was not going to the all star game this year. "I have had a real good year, especially with the bad," Kearns said. "Whatever though I know I am on my way to a big contract this off season.""It was a tough decision, but in the end I think

Boss Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06045110377243058613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-94982020280853577.post-50515189056243495852009-07-01T07:17:00.001-07:002009-07-01T07:24:02.268-07:00Lerner Family Can't Wait to Sell Nyjer Stirrups

July 1-Miami-The Lerner family, owners of the Washington Nationals, were very excited about the promotional opportunities that the acquisition of Nyjer Morgan would mean for the team and more importantly the team store. The Nationals plan to start selling Nyjer stirrups once the team returns to Washington for a weekend set against the Braves."We get a better defender, get that bum Milledge out

Boss Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06045110377243058613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-94982020280853577.post-50175946987134317182009-07-01T05:10:00.000-07:002009-07-01T07:11:37.159-07:00Chad Cordero Spotted in Seattle with Curved Hat

July 1-Seattle, WA-Chad Cordero was spotted working out at Safeco Field today in Seattle with a curved hat. For years in DC Cordero was known for his flat brim hat pulled down to his eyebrows making most people in DC wondering if he had something really wrong with his forehead. "I am shocked," said former teammate and only surviving bullpen mate from last year Joel Hanrahan. "I didn't know if

Boss Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06045110377243058613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-94982020280853577.post-33682754020094149172009-06-30T11:49:00.000-07:002009-06-30T12:00:33.192-07:00John Lannan Sad to Lose His Roomie/BFF Joel Hanrahan

June 30-Maimi, FL-John Lannan became devastated and started crying when informed that his roommate and best friend forever Joel Hanrahan had just been traded to the Pittsburgh Pirates. When asked for comment on the situation Lannan could only say, "Words can't describe what I am feeling right now, Joely will be missed greatly." Other teammates didn't seem to care so much. "I freakin love

Boss Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06045110377243058613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-94982020280853577.post-62976089386777543502009-06-30T07:45:00.000-07:002009-06-30T08:06:47.696-07:00Joe Gibbs Racing Announces Expansion Into Segway Racing

June 28-Raljon, MD-Joe Gibbs Racing today announced that it will be expanding its racing teams from NASCAR to Segways starting in 2010. The annoucement came Sunday for no particualr reason at FedEX field in front of a large crowd of onlookers leaving a nearby church after Sunday services."Segway racing is the next big thing and we want to be in on the ground floor," an ecstatic Gibbs said. The

Boss Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06045110377243058613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-94982020280853577.post-4621051016502874782009-06-29T12:10:00.000-07:002009-07-08T22:38:54.000-07:00Devin Thomas Changes Name to Devin Eleven, Moves in With Jason Campbell

June 29-Ashburn, VA-With the start of training camp rapidly approaching the big news out of Redskins camp today came off the field with the announcement that Devin Thomas, the second year receiver for the Redskins, has changed his name to Devin Eleven and moved into Jason Campbell's house in preparation for training camp.Thomas denies that this was in any way motivated or inspired by the antics

Boss Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06045110377243058613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-94982020280853577.post-55237212461756672872009-06-29T06:44:00.000-07:002009-07-08T22:38:53.524-07:00Four Years From Thursday Marks SI Where Are You Now Wily Mo "Trapzilla" Pena Issue

June 29-New York-Sports Illustrated just announced that four years from Thursday will be the Where Are They Now edition featuring Wily Mo "Trapzilla" Pena. The man who had a brief an injury filled career for the Washington Nationals despite displaying an enormous amount of power and very little ability to use it."He could hit a ball very far," said disgraced general manager Jim Bowden. "But he

Boss Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06045110377243058613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-94982020280853577.post-18578835042262046302009-06-27T10:35:00.000-07:002009-06-29T12:22:19.502-07:00Willie Harris Spotted Without Enormous Dip In

June 27-Baltimore, MD-During the game today between the Washington Nationals and the Baltimore Orioles, Nationals utility man Willie Harris was spotted without an enormous dip in his mouth for the first time ever in public.The reaction of the public and teammates was a consensus, everyone was stunned. "Nah papi, you lying," teammate Jesus Colome said in shock. Bubba Sparxx who for some odd

Boss Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06045110377243058613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-94982020280853577.post-39321469090900513752009-06-26T14:00:00.001-07:002009-06-26T14:05:15.607-07:00Actual Village Idiot Suing Stan Kasten for Defamation of Character

June 27-Washington, DC-An actual village idiot has filed a lawsuit today in DC Superior Court against Stan Kasten and the Washington Nationals for defamation of character according to a court spokesman."This is a very serious issue and we plan to pursue all avenues under the law," said Morton Greenberg, the attorney of record for the actual Village Idiot. The actual Village Idiot refused to

Boss Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06045110377243058613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-94982020280853577.post-85037241473814302622009-06-26T09:29:00.000-07:002009-06-26T10:32:00.865-07:00Wil Nieves is Going to Punch the Next Person that says, "Who? Wil Nieves"

June 27-Baltimore, MD-In a press release before today's game between the Baltimore Orioles and Washington Nationals, the Nationals, fearing safety of innocent fans, issued a press release urging people not to ask Wil Nieves who he is. The root of this problem is from a commercial of MASN defining moments featuring Wil Nieves hitting a walk off home run against the Chicago Cubs and being

Boss Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06045110377243058613noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-94982020280853577.post-31983906385685375072009-06-26T09:15:00.000-07:002009-06-26T09:28:00.330-07:00Etan Thomas Not Happy About Minnesota, Cites Lack of Good Poetry Slams and Missing Brendan Haywood as the Reasons

June 27-Washington, DC-A fan spotted Etan Thomas at a poetry slam Saturday on U Street and asked Etan Thomas how he felt about being traded to the Minnesota Timberwolves and he broke out into tears. Thomas said that he will miss DC, especially the poetry slams and his best friend for life Brendan Haywood. The fellow poetry slammer was taken aback by such a large man crying and went over to the

Boss Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06045110377243058613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-94982020280853577.post-8164136138402472462009-06-26T09:01:00.001-07:002009-06-26T09:14:05.127-07:00Michael Ruffin Named to Wizards All-Decade Team, Surprusing All

June 26-Washington, DC-After fans became very upset with the Wizards for not drafting DaJuan Blair in the second round, the public relation staff decided to release a hastily put together all-decade team in an effort to get the press focused on other things. The roster has many interesting selections listed below.G-Steve BlakeG-Juan DixonG-Tyronn LueF-Charles OakleyF-Calvin BoothF-Darius

Boss Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06045110377243058613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-94982020280853577.post-32491003899672134382009-06-26T08:47:00.000-07:002009-06-26T12:10:09.440-07:00John Lannan Recognized

June 25-Washington, DC-After a home game at Nationals Park John Lannan was walking home to his apartment on Capital Hill and was recognized in public for the first time by a fan. "I knew the day would come some time," Lannan said, "I really feel like I have made it now."Those prominent eyebrows on Lannan make him an easy target for joking from teammates and easily recognizable to anyone who has

Boss Manhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06045110377243058613noreply@blogger.com0